Holidays are often seen as a time of joy and togetherness, especially for children. Yet, for many, this season has become a time of sadness and longing.
Christmas, in particular, can be one of the most difficult times for children of divorced parents. For many of these children, the holiday is spent without one of their parents or extended family members. Traditionally celebrated as a time for family unity, Christmas now often highlights the fractures caused by divorce and custodial disputes.
One significant factor contributing to this issue is the rise of parental alienation and custodial interference, often exacerbated by family court rulings or the actions of an entitled ex-spouse. Studies have long shown that children who are separated from one of their parents without just cause are at a higher risk of developing mental health issues such as separation anxiety, low self-esteem, and even thoughts of self-harm. Yet, despite the well-documented harms, countless children endure the pain of being denied access to one side of their family during the holidays.
Alienated parents frequently send gifts to their children, uncertain if these tokens of love will ever reach them. For these parents—and for grandparents, too—Christmas has become a source of heartache instead of joy. Alarmingly, the holiday season sees an increase in suicides linked to parental alienation and custodial interference. However, no comprehensive studies have been approved or conducted to capture the true extent of this crisis.
Many children’s letters to Santa reflect their heartbreak, with some simply wishing to see their other parent for Christmas. Others ask Santa if they did something wrong to deserve being separated from their loved ones. This heartbreaking sentiment underscores the psychological toll such situations take on children.
Except in cases of proven abuse or neglect, no child should ever be withheld from a loving parent or grandparent. Yet, the family court system, which generates over $60 billion annually, often appears to prioritize profit over the well-being of children. If the system truly prioritized the “best interests of the child,” it would ensure that children maintain meaningful relationships with both sides of their family.
This Christmas, as you cherish time with your own children, take a moment to reflect on the countless children who will spend the holidays longing for the embrace of a loving parent or grandparent. Let us not forget the importance of family and the profound impact it has on a child’s happiness and mental health.