SILENT ABUSERS AND THEIR WAYS

Brian Leslie, Age 53 from Cayce, has a hidden secret… He is a silent abuser! When this story first came to the Daily Counter News we didn’t know how to approach such a story and show the facts as these sort of abusers cover their tracks very well.

We believe the only way to show these silent abusers actions are to show the tactics and methods of their abusive nature. Silent abusers such as Leslie, all nearly follow the same psychological method with their victims. These abusers feel they have an entitlement to control!

The Psychology:

Abusers such as Leslie tend to seek victims who are already dealing with emotional issues, so as to not show any of their abuse, they simply state its due to their victims past. They also tend to look for victims which are younger then them, typically within an age range of 10 to 15 years younger. This is due to the fact that many of these hidden abusers have failed careers or low self-esteem and younger victims are easily convinced by their stories, plus the abuser gets an increase in his esteem. They will have few friends as they can not risk too many people observing and noticing their actions.

They present a silent control over their victims with small but firm gestures such as placing their arm around their victim, with a loving appearance while squeezing forcefully to signify control.

Leslie at the age of 53 as we were told had been still living with his parents off and on and being supported by them as well. The last known job he had was for a Pest Control Company out of West Columbia, currently he works for Vinx Pest Control on St. Andrews in Columbia. He only worked there for a year before being let go for arguing with customers and suspicion of drinking on the job. Leslie’s employment history is questionable due to the fact it appears he has difficulty holding down a job. He entices people with a story of a 2 second scene in a film, and he uses his appearance as a top notch dart player. His scene in a film (non-verified) to him was perhaps his failing attempt at a real career, which brought more low self esteem and him seeking more control.

People we spoke with concerning Brian Leslie all stated he is someone you really don’t get to know. That he is odd, and gives off a sense of “creepy”.

Another interesting fact to bring to the attention here is that the young victim resembles his ex-wife. These silent abusers tend to seek out victims who resemble an ex-wife, girlfriend and even a relative that things went badly with. They do this to try to hold on to the control they lost. It’s very important to know that not all abusers leave physical marks. In many cases the mental scars are considered worse and these silent abusers prey on this.

The Control Factor

His latest victim, is a young mother who struggles with domestic violence issues and has a history of being compliant with men giving her orders. This compliance is not uncommon in Domestic Violence victims as they have been programmed to obey their abusers. And in many such cases, as this one, unfortunately, other abusers find it easy to ensnare them with what is known as “Love Bombing”. Love bombing is a tactic in which someone “bombs” you with extreme displays of attention and affection with the intent to manipulate you. This is usually one of the first tactics used by abusers.

Lots of times when asked if they are ok, they will simply state “yes” for any other answer could cause more abuse.

It was observed by several individuals how Leslie while being at a Dart Tournament repeatedly supplied large and strong alcoholic beverages to his victim, to the point were the victim was barely able to stand up straight. At one point it was even noticed, him placing his arm around her suddenly while she was speaking with another female and using the technique mentioned above (squeezing her upper arm forcefully to signal “stop talking and pay attention to him”). One patron stated he saw Leslie’s finger marks when he removed his hand from the victims arm.

Silent Abusers tend to keep their victims from people who the victim has close emotional support from, in order to prevent the victim from leaving. This is usually done by the abuser by having the victim cutting contact with these individual or knowledge of the victims whereabouts. In many cases it includes not allowing them to have a cell phone or access to social media. And always ensuring that the victim is by the abusers side.

Silent abusers have learned the methods used to break the abuse and then by reversing them gain control of the victim.

It’s also noteworthy to mention here that Brian Leslie had a severely bad divorce. We attempted to reach out to his ex-wife for comment but at the time have been unable to locate her. But some acquaintances have hinted that abuse was present.

Leslie and other silent abusers excerpt their control through mental tactics and other pressures to gain and keep control of their victims. If their prey shows any signs of a strong personality then they tend to back off.

Leslie has multiple social media accounts, one where he posts about his dart playing and one with nothing excluding a 52 friend list mostly of young women (who once again resemble his wife in some manner). This is not abnormal for abusers many have social media accounts such as this. One shows the world how normal they present themselves, while the other is either a target list or a list of past attempts at controlled victims. The second one is were they go in silent to recall the tactics to improve for their next victim. This can be compared to many serial killers who escalate and attempt to perfect their method of killing.

The Result

Silent Abusers are hardly ever found out due to their low level tactics. Society today fails to take note of this kind of abuse and the abusers. When speaking of Domestic Violence one visualizes physical injuries, and not the mental scars inflicted by such abuse. It is for this reason why Silent Abusers have gone unnoticed in todays world.

Many of the people we spoke with concerning Brian Leslie stated they always noticed something off about things, but didn’t want to get involved. This has become a societal norm, and what leads to the high number of victims of domestic violence.

The result of this is that these abusers are left to continue their onslaught of abuse on more and more victims. The victims are left in many cases with mental scars and issues that will last their lifetime.

Thousands of victims go unnoticed from abuse and without being able to get help, due to the subtle tactics used by these silent abusers being within a gray area of the law. To most victims of silent or normal abuse the mental damage is the most severe in nature.